The American Heart Association (AHA) and comedy site Funny Or Die have joined forces to deliver a hilarious parody of student meals served in schools. Together with comedian Nick Offerman, they point out the absurdity of the lack of healthy foods needed to fuel the developing minds of our kids.
“Welcome to the pizza farm, where we are hard at work growing the ripe, juicy pizzas your kids love,” says an overall-clad Offerman. Chuckling, he asks, “What could be healthier than this?” What, indeed.
Then, we get a tour of the taquito tree orchards, where he’s approached by a little girl who asks for one. “You see, kids know what their bodies need,” scoffs Offerman. Naturally! Children know all about those vitamin and nutrient-rich foods that help their bodies and minds grow. The best is when we watch this fast food farmer pluck a sloppy joe right out of the earth. “These fields produce hot, moist sloppy joes all year round,” he says, “thanks to the nutrients and cola we use to water them.” Ah! The cola, eh? Mother Nature’s untapped resource, no doubt.
“Look,” he concludes, “if it’s on a plant, it’s good for you. Who cares how it got there.”
I could use a fruit and veggie platter just looking at his basket of “freshly picked” pizza slices.